This peeve has been inspired by an incident that occurred just a moment ago. After getting into my workplace lift and descending a single floor, the doors opened and well-presented man in his forties leant his body into the elevator. He proceeded to peer around the lift with a cheerful "What's all this about then?" kind of expression. By positioning himself between the doors, he was preventing the lift from continuing its rightful progress to the ground floor. As he continued to gleefully soak in his new surroundings, I was reminded of my distaste for grown men who seem embrace the mundane routines that accompany working life with childlike enthusiasm. To make things worse this prick was delaying the purchase of a Kit Kat chunky (peanut). Instead of screaming "GET IN THE LIFT FUCKWIT", I silently endured the grossly inappropriate jauntiness that this lift had provoked. His performance had aroused disproportionate sense of rage within me, and this was compounded when my lift-buddy began to engage me directly.
Man: Ha, this building doesn't appear to have a ground floor!
Me: It's number 0 (I then jabbed the 0 button)
Man: What happens on these floors (Pointing to floors -1 and -2)
Me: Umm... I think..
Man: (Interrupting, his question had obviously been rhetorical) "FIRE AND BRIMSTONE I IMAGINE!"
I then exited the lift without responding to this last remark. There is no fire and brimstone on the 2 lower floors, only surly house staff.
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