Friday, 15 May 2009
Living with big balls
From analysing the data on my Google Analytics profile, I discovered that one of yesterday's 16 visitors to the blog found the site by typing "+ living with big balls" into google. Due to my lack of experience in this area, my blog is distinctly lacking in practical tips that would help him cope with his ailment (I presume it was a he! LOL!) Anyway, if anyone else with a pair of salty satsumas stumbles across this page, I thought it would be a nice gesture to offer them the following 5 point action plan:
1. Invest in a roomy pair of tracksuit bottoms.
2. Avoid zinc rich foods such as oysters or fortified breakfast cereals.
3. Join a support group in your local area.
4. Avoid overzealous horseplay with younger relatives.
5. Masturbate regularly.
Remember guys, life is what you make it. It's not you that has to live with big balls, it's the big balls that have to live with YOU. Get me.
If you have any handy big ball advice then post your tips below. The best suggestion wins a humorous prize (the prize being a charcoal sketch of my own testicles).