Feeling very limp today, and have been profusely sweating out my weekend for a good 12 hours. To complement what is an already uninviting look, on Friday I sustained a fat lip, which during the healing process has slowly began to resemble herpes. It's not herpes, I was just punched in the face by an erratic character over the course of the weekend. As the perpetrator was both a female and a friend, the incident was received in relatively good humour at the time.
The humour has definitely been lost now that certain colleagues are eyeing my facial injuries as if they are the manifest symptoms of a sexually transmitted viral infection. Add to this my excessive perspiration, and I think I may have fucked my chances when it comes to May's employee of the month competition.
I was contemplating performing a conciliatory goodwill gesture in order to get my colleagues back on side. Ordinarily, this could be easily achieved by investing in communal box of doughnuts or something. However, my current physical appearance is suggestive of someone with scant regard for both rudimentary personal hygiene and the safeguarding of his own sexual health. Hardly the kind of character that you want offering you Krispy Kremes.
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