Today I realised I could no longer use work as an excuse for not updating the blog. After just 2 hours at my desk I found myself checking Wikipedia as part of an investigation into career trajectories of the cast of
That 70's Show . FYI, most of the gang are doing fine, apart from Hyde and the tall ginger bird. Hyde is now a balding Scientologist who DJs under the moniker 'DJ Mom Jeans', while TGB was last seen appearing on
How I Met Your Mother as Karen, Ted's old high school and college girlfriend. SHIT.
Anyway, I'm going ease my way back into the cut and thrust world of blogging with a nice and lazy post. Below are a list of people with annoying faces, or as I call them: BAIT FACES. Welcome to bait faces.
Chris Tarrant. Some people have unfortunate faces which bear no relation their actual personalities. For example, I have an acquaintance whose natural smile makes him resemble a smirking date-rapist. To the best of my knowledge, my friend isn't a rapist. But his face tells a different, far more traumatic story.
Unlike my sleazy-faced acquaintance, Tarrant's coupon sums him up perfectly. It encapsulates the self-regard of the successful, fleshy middle-aged man who is currently enjoying the unsavoury pleasures associated with a full-blown mid-life crisis. Look into eyes, it's all flash cars and young women who have given up on love.
The picture above was used to promote the seriously unappealing Tarrant vehicle
Tarrant Lets the Kids Loose. The only appealing Tarrant vehicle I can conceive of would never get commissioned, although I reckon the ultra violent
Tarrant gets Maimed would actually be a hit.
Russell Howard. Look at the picture above, annoying isn't it? You may be tempted to give Russell (shit name) the benefit of the doubt:
"I'm sure the photographer asked him to pose like that. They probably took loads of normal pictures but ended up choosing one that made him look like a bit of a wally." Sorry love, you're wrong. Russell Howard always stands like that. He is one of those guys who just loves to rock a jaunty pose. Be it with a wall/climbing frame/giant log, it's how he lives his life. Sadly, due to the success he has experienced at a young age, he won't see reason to stop. He will be dicking about in a similar vein well into his forties. At least we will all be able to enjoy the inevitable media backlash that this ballbag will face. If you thought the Barrymore saga was bad...
Louis Walsh has a big bubble-head, and always seems to be on the verge of tears. Not an appealing combination. He is the uncle you hope isn't invited around for Christmas.
CJ de Mooi = The worst man.
