After enjoying Sunday's Celebrity Come Dine with Me so much, I've decided to stage a remake of this special episode in my own home. I have approached the 4 celebrity participants, and so far only Roy Walker has agreed to attend the event to be hosted in New Cross. Les Battersby felt that my last blog entry was derogatory and has refused to attend the meal. Your loss Les, I was cooking fish, and we all know how much you like fish...
ANYWAY, I'm not going to let one selfish soap actor scupper the ultimate dinner party, so I've decided to rope in a replacement. After scouring the web for Les Battersby lookalikes, I've managed to find two relatively plausible options:
LES 1
LES 2
While Les 2 is clearly the closest to 'real' Les in terms of appearance, I feel that Les 1 some how manages to capture an abstract essence of 'real' Les that transcends mere aesthetic similarities. Also the combination of Les 1's shoddy webcam promotional picture and complete lack shared physical traits with his supposed lookalike, suggest that he may be short on work. Rendering him the cheaper option of the two.
From the Jaws of Victory II
3 years ago
Im not surprised that you feel the need to use me on your blog once again(i mean who are you compared to me!!) your not the first to try to make funny QUIPS AT MY EXPENSE........im sure you wont be the last sad fucker either,let me see im at this minute looking at a script for a film 4 role,knocking back the black stuff and turning over my 42 inch tv with the remote,it dont get better! oh sorry maybe a award ceremony for another gong might surpass it(im sure theres one round the corner)if you need to amuse yourself im sure thinking of what your up to in your life might get a fit of giggles going?im going to keep a eye on this charade of a site in future,and when some 80s celeb gets it in the neck im going to pounce on your inadequate self. Before you no it your be shutting this crap down in utter contempt for yourself.....think on
ReplyDeletebj
Fil 4 role? If you are talking about 'Kes Revisited', forget about it. Norris got the role.
ReplyDeleteWhat a dick of the highest order you are! i have a forthcoming film four movie coming out soon,and plenty of work in the pipeline,one thing bruce does is work my socks off!!. Here i am relaying my life to what is evidently some squirt from the outer reaches of some dickens type estate laden with hoodie types who steal off there grandmothers!. would it not be better that you spend your time off the computer,maybe interacting with chicks or in your case probably boys!. My youth was glady spent courting numerous women,supping good ale,and learning my acting trade all over europe,in return of this i now sup champers when i want(still like the black stuff mind!!)go all round the world plying my trade and am with the love of my life.......the boy done good it seems? maybe take a leaf out of my overflowing book,you seem to wrapped up sniping at folk who have made good,coming unstuck when someone like myself hears of your pathetic carry on.Get out there son stop with the petty disregard for fellow human beings,show some stomach for life instead of trying to live other peoples.
ReplyDeletebj
Are you okay Les? Your angsty rants on my blog suggest that someone has been supping too much champers for their own good! I am looking forward to your forthcoming stint on 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here'. I imagine that you and Chris Eubank will get on famously.
ReplyDeleteEver the comedy act scragg!! dull as ditchwater comes to mind,will be keeping a eye on this charade of a blog.
ReplyDeletecool off Les, my successes in life and love also mean I'm oft the butt of the joke on this blog.
ReplyDeleteyou should be flattered.
you are obviously a fantastic talent having to portray someone for so long who not only knobbed vicky entwhistle but also shacked up with that orange tubby tart, personally I'd rather take Schmeichel to bed than that munter.
all the best with future endeavours Les, you're a top boy!
ps Was that blubbing about fish the real deal on CDWM or was the guest room at Roy Walker's gaff just a platform to exercise some more of them acting skills of yours?
Oh scragg has found a cohort to aid this witless humour he portrays on here,those women you mention with such disdain jdeath(women hater or what)are actors who are not just loved and respected but also ply there acting trade with skills well above your ruddy station,i take it you also have a blog that makes snide remarks at random celebs......self loathing is a horrible way to indulge your young lifes,but it seems i have stumbled across two here. maybe you and scragg can tear yourself away from your pc this weekend and venture up town for a bevvie? i doubt very much this course will be taken instead your let off your angst typing away more droll southern shite "humour".
ReplyDeletebj
*lives
ReplyDeleteSimmer down Les,I'm no cohort and I'm no woman hater - the older Battersby was the nuts!
where's Vicky 'plying her trade' now, on the rock of Gibraltar?
ps that orange tart is no actor.
BJ, lets cut to the chase. You are not actually dissolute ex-soap actor Bruce Jones, just a failed man impersonating ex-soap actor Bruce Jones. Please stop this. I want to move on from the red-faced, booze wearied Les Battersby and on to pastures new.
ReplyDeletekilled it.
ReplyDeleteMy buttocks remitted when reading this.
ReplyDeleteGood to see you no longer write bile anymore scraggly.
ReplyDelete